What now that Chuck Norris is dead?

“A warrior with a heart full of love”: Paid tribute to movie star Chuck Norris, who has died, aged 86

Hollywood action star Chuck Norris has died at the age of 86, his family has announced.

Norris, who is best known for his role as Cordell “Cord” Walker in the long-running TV series “Walker, Texas Ranger,” died “in peace” on Thursday surrounded by his family.

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“He may have had a warrior on the outside, but his heart was so full of love,” says his daughter Danilee.

He was born in Oklahoma in 1940 and served in the United States Air Force before becoming famous as a martial arts star. Later, he got his big break on screen with Bruce Lee in “Way of the Dragon” from 1972 – see his career in pictures.

Norris was the real deal, and he used his expertise in martial arts to help himself launch a decades-long career on the screen.

He also appeared in a number of memes that jokingly played with Norris’ tough image. One of them shows a picture of his face with the slogan “in an emergency, 911 calls him”.

Best Chuck Norris Jokes

1. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them out until he gets the information he wants.
2. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
3. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
4. Chuck Norris breathes air… five times a day.
5. The flu takes a Chuck Norris vaccine every year.
6. In the beginning, there was nothing… then Roundhouse fired Chuck Norris nothing and told him to get a job.
7. When God said, “Let there be light,” Chuck Norris said, “Please.”
8. Chuck Norris drinks a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
9. If Chuck Norris traveled to an alternate dimension where there was another Chuck Norris, and they both fought, they would both win.
10. The dinosaurs looked wrong at Chuck Norris once. You know what happened to them.
11. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
12. Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light.
13. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always answers, “Two more seconds.” When you ask: “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse-kicks you in the face.
14. Chuck Norris appeared in the video game “Street Fighter II” but was removed by beta testers because all the buttons made him perform a roundhouse kick. When asked about this “miss,” Chuck Norris replied, “There is no miss.”
15. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse spark-related deaths have increased by 13,000 percent.
16. Chuck Norris doesn’t own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
17. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.
18. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. It’s just another fist.
19. The most important export of Chuck Norris is pain.
20. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned drink. It is now called Red Bull.

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Funny Chuck Norris Jokes and Statements

21. If paper beats rock, stone beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all three at the same time? Chuck Norris.
22. On the seventh day, God rested … Chuck Norris took over.
23. Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball.
24. Chuck Norris drinks napalm to fight his heartburn.
25. Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick is so powerful that it can be seen from space with the naked eye.
26. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check out the list of extinct species.
27. Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life.
28. Chuck Norris once shot down an enemy plane with his finger by shouting, “Bang!”
29. Chuck Norris does not use spell checking. If he were to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling.
30. Some children pee their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in concrete.
31. Chuck Norris’ calendar runs straight from March 31 to April 2, because no one is fooling Chuck Norris.
32. Chuck Norris Counted To Infinity… twice.
33. Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
34. Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick his ass at the same time.
35. Chuck Norris can ride on the rear wheel of a unicycle.
36. Chuck Norris stands faster than anyone can run.
37. Once, a cobra bit Chuck Norris in the leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
38. Chuck Norris once won a game of Four in a row in three moves.
39. Masters is the lunch of Chuck Norris.
40. When Busemannen goes to bed every night, he checks in his closet for Chuck Norris.
41. Chuck Norris can slam doors with swing cross mechanism.
42. Chuck Norris doesn’t hunt because the word hunt implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes out to kill.
43. The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
44. Chuck Norris can kill two rocks with one bird.
45. Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.
46. Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
47. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
48. When Chuck Norris writes, he makes the paper bleed.
49. Chuck Norris can suffocate you with a cordless phone.
50. Chuck Norris never backs down; He only attacks in the opposite direction.
51. Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

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Hysterical Chuck Norris jokes

52. Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
53. Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
54. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. My heart lost.
55. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror breaks. Because not even glass is stupid enough to come between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
56. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn on the lights, he turns off the darkness.
57. The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
58. Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
59. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with the fist of Chuck Norris.
60. Chuck Norris is the only person who can punch a cyclops between the eye.
61. Chuck Norris used to beat up his shadow because it followed too closely. It is now 4.5 meters behind him.
62. There has never been a hurricane named after Chuck because it would have destroyed everything.
63. Outer space exists because it is afraid of being on the same planet as Chuck Norris.
64. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he presses the earth downward.
65. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
66. Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
67. Chuck Norris doesn’t get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
68. In Pamplona, Spain, people may be running from the bulls, but the bulls are running from Chuck Norris.
69. Chuck Norris seasons his steaks with pepper spray.
70. The Great Wall of China was originally built to keep Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
71. Chuck Norris can sit in a bucket and lift it up with himself in it.
72. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72… and they are all deadly.
73. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in tennis.
74. Chuck Norris doesn’t shower, he just takes carnage.
75. Chuck Norris can share by zero.
76. The program The Robinson Expedition originally had the concept of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors.

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Short Chuck Norris Jokes

77. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris recognizes only the element of surprise.
78. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
79. When Chuck Norris was born, the only thing that cried was the doctor. Never clap at Chuck Norris.
80. When Chuck Norris does division, there will be no leftovers.
81. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
82. Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren’t until his first space expedition.
83. Chuck Norris once parachuted but vowed never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
84. Chuck Norris once ordered a steak at a restaurant. The steak did as it was told.
85. We live in an expanding universe. The whole thing is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
86. Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
87. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
88. Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
89. Chuck Norris defeated the Sun in a peeping battle.
90. Superman owns a Chuck Norris brief.
91. Chuck Norris is not breathing, he is taking air hostage.

92. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
93. Chuck Norris doesn’t need to shave. His beard is afraid to grow.
94. Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real.
95. In an average living room, there are a thousand objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you with, including the room itself.
96. Chuck Norris invented airplanes because he was tired of being the only one who could fly.
97. Chuck Norris’ belly button is essentially a power outlet.
98. Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
99. Chuck Norris is the only man who can fight against himself and win.
100. Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made by real cowboys.
101. Chuck Norris can start a fire with an ice cube.
102. Once, Chuck Norris kicked a coal mine and turned it into a diamond mine.
103. When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball, the ball avoids him.

New bonus joke: Chuck Norris was exposed to the coronavirus. The virus is now in quarantine for a month.

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